Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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