that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
