you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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