i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
