Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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