Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
