What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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