Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize