playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
