I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
