you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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