I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
