I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
