After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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