I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's blow job season.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
