I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
