that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
