Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
