Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
