There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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