I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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