like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she told me i tasted like america
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
