I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i just wanna soil my oats bro
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
