Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
