Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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