btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
