Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
