One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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