Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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