Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize