we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize