grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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