Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize