Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Fuck appropriateness.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
