pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
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You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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