dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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