I hate all girls vehemently.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
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My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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