For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It was confusing and full of hummus
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
