so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
