Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
