So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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