3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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