i barfeds in our rink
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
