I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
