I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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