i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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