My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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