Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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