who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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