My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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