I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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