We're like a lot better than the average bears
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
