Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize
