Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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