hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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