is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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