I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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