First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
