Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Rumble strips road head = magical
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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