Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
sarcasm needs its own font
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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