I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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