Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
