i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is it because I queefed?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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