I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
operation have a gay friend backfired
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
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