I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
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There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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