i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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