My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
